Just a Toys R Us Kid

Oscar Thoughts, Part 4

2006-03-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

Like some movie franchises, I can't stop at the nice, neat "trilogy". I'm greedy for box office.

I really didn't get the movie clip montages. Apparently they were saying something like "Movies are good, go see them in the theater", but none of those shown are recent enough to take advantage of modern day movie technology. Back in the 1940s, families were starting to be able to buy televisions. Using the television, they were able to watch the same movies at home that they could in a theater. Box office receipts went down. What happened? Hollywood innovated and started using a wide lens which gave a larger picture that had to be cropped to be shown on a tv. Going to the theater meant you were going to get an experience you couldn't get at home. Sound innovations added to this experience. But now I can get everything that you can get in a theater at my house. What hollywood needs to do is innovate again and come up with something that creates a unique and positive experience that I cannot get at home.

The whole "come see movies in theaters because you can't experience them at home" is bullshit, in my opinion. Do they realize that you can buy gigantic tvs now? Even projection onto a screen that is 128" (or larger) in size? That you can buy sound systems to give you surround sound? Do they realize how much money they make in dvd sales that has more than made up for the downturn in box office? Do they know I'm not going to the theater for a shitty movie anymore? That I don't want to go and see Cheaper by the Dozen 2? I can only think of a few reasons I would go see a movie in the theater anymore:

1) I have to see it by a certain date, and the movie won't be out on video before that date. Only really happens in this time of year, when I want to see a movie before the oscar ceremony
2) A comedy that is really popular. I do think seeing a comedy such as anchorman or 40 year old virgin with a large group of people in a theater does add something to the experience, and makes you laugh harder
3) A movie that I just can't wait to see. The only thing that really fits the bill that I see coming up is the da vinci code, and even that I wouldn't mind waiting for it on video.

There are just so many negative things about going to the movies anymore:

1) Cost - Especially at night, it will cost me and marcilla $20 to see the movie. $12 during the day. A drink and popcorn is another $10. If I wait and buy the dvd when it comes out, I can, in the end, save money. And what if the movie is terrible? I spend $30 to see a shitty movie? I'd rather rent it for $4 and see it in my living room.
2) People and the sounds they make - Maybe it's just my aversion to people, but I can't stand it sometimes. Back in the bachelor days when I'd see a movie every saturday, I was really good in picking out the people who were most likely to talk during the movie. It is so distracting to me to even hear people whispering, even if I can't make out the words that they say. Also, what's up with people shuffling their popcorn? It makes a ton of noise and is distracting as hell. And then there are kids - I like going to see some kid movies, but I can't stand when kids ask their parents "What's going on? Why is he doing that?". Again, I'd rather watch it at home where my biggest problem is a dog trying to hump me.
3) People and that they move - "Oops, sorry, I drank this 60 oz soda and now I have to go to the bathroom, so let me block your view and crawl over you to get out. And then block your view again when I come back." "Oops, sorry, I can't arrive early for a movie. I think that I can arrive 20 minutes late and not bother anyone. The first 20 minutes are previews anyway" "Oops, sorry, I needed to shift around and kicked the back of your seat"

Oscar Thoughts, Part 3

2006-03-06T10:44:00.001-08:00

The awards themselves were kind of all over the place. Here's the film tally:

Brokeback Mountain - 3
Crash - 3
Memoirs of a Geisha - 3
King Kong - 3
Hustle and Flow - 1
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (who thought of this title?) - 1
Capote - 1
Walk the Line - 1
Syriana - 1
The constant gardner - 1

Personally, I think the awards themselves are exciting when a movie starts to sweep the awards. You find yourself rooting for a movie in a category because it has won before. But having such a disparity in the number of films winning awards seems to give me the feeling that there wasn't a really strong film that was so much better.

Oscar trivia: Name the other film, tied now with Crash, that won the least number of oscars (3) including best picture?
A: Rocky

Oscar Thoughts, Part 2

2006-03-06T10:44:00.000-08:00

As a host, I thought Jon Stewart did a good job. There were a lot of funny bits, but part of me always wonders who writes those bits. Obviously there are writers for the show that write the opening and various jokes along the way. But how much leeway does Stewart have in making random jokes created by himself?

For the first time in a long time, I didn't cry during the in memoriam clips. Maybe it's that no one really died that was super important, maybe it's that none of those shown were given a speaking clip. Seeing both katherine hepburn and marlon brando last year made you really realize how talented they were and how much the contributed to the history of movies.

Oscar Thoughts, Part 1

2006-03-06T09:55:00.000-08:00

I had always thought that the Oscars were like christmas - the only other event that seems like it is the super bowl. The acknowledgement that a year has passed and the buildup will take another year to get to this point. And that the buildup is so much more fun that the actual event. I thought I would give my thoughts on what happened last night, and also the oscars in general. I've divided this up into multiple posts since I don't want this to be one big rant.

The ceremony will never run on time. For the first time last night, I thought that all of the acceptance speeches were well within the time limit (although why they decided to play the "get off the stage because you're running long" music first, and then *stop* when you actually do exceed your minute, I have no idea). They ran thirty minutes long anyway, and I can't see anything that was planned that could have made them think that they would run on time.

To be honest, I don't think they should ever try to run on time. There was a ceremony quite awhile back (70s) where they did run under time, and then had ~15 minutes to fill with no content whatsoever. I think the better thing is to schedule ~5 hours, and treat the ceremony like a football game. When the game is over, time permitting, they show you highlights and interviews with players. Currently they do this anyway with the oscars, in having 2 hours worth of post coverage about parties and such which gets compressed when the ceremony runs long. As I told Marcilla last night, I think being able to say to people "yes, this will end by 11" gets them to stay up, but when the ceremony runs long the people watching say, "Well, I've stayed up and watched the whole thing but the best awards are yet to come, so I'll watch the rest". If they billed the ceremony as 5 hours, no one would plan to stay up that long.

eating bad stuff = lose weight

2006-01-11T14:36:00.000-08:00

It's strange that I can eat pizza and beer last night, but then today weight in at my lowest weight yet (214.5). What? I can eat shit and lose a pound a week? Sign me up! It could just be weight fluctuation there too. Still, it's nice to know that a few bad nights here and there don't mean a total combobulation of the goal.

The other thing that has been going through my mind is that I need to have weeks that I'm bad, others that I'm ok, and others that I'm really really good. For now, I think I'll try being really really good on weeks that Marcilla cooks, since she's liable to not cook tacos or pizza.

And working out today was so hard, mostly because I was bored, although my lower calfs were killing me. I was just looking for reasons to stop...like "If I get back from pull up machine and a stair stepper isn't free, it's a sign from God". Eventually I got on a stair stepper, but quit after 10 minutes due to boredom. I was pretty sick of listening to the alito hearings, and that was all that was on that was good...besides soaps and world's strongest man. Maybe I need to read or something...sweat all over one of their magazines. The only day recently that I can work out and not be bored has been mondays since they have a lot of football stuff on espn. But lately there's nothing on, and so I get bored and say that it isn't worth it anymore. Stay tuned.

more diet woes

2006-01-09T14:24:00.000-08:00

Wow, so this blog is really turning into a whinefest on my adventures in trying to lose weight. Oh well, at least it keeps me busy.

So the diet thing this weekend was really really bad. I was proud of myself at getting to 214.8 on Friday's weigh in. Per Marcilla's request, she wanted to go out, so we went out and ate at a nifty new restaurant. I had a glass of wine, breaking my streak of no alcohol nights at four. Food was good, but not that good for the body. Then we went to coldstone, and I, unlike my smart wife, chose the regular ice cream with cookie dough (yum). After saturday's early morning work out, I was back up to 215.2.

Then it got worse. I had written previously that saturday was going to be gorging night for me, and I kept true to my word. I made a good bruchetta with bread, a huge thing of hamburger helper, and garclic bread. Plus beer. Lots o beer. Ate all of that too.

The plan then on sunday was to get back to normal, which I was on target to do (minus a few bites of chow mein that marcilla had for lunch). But then the bomb hit - marcilla was going to book club night, something that I had totally forgotten. Originally the menu called for pork tenderloin and green beans, which I cooked, and ate a little bit. But through the cooking process, my mind was reeling with thoughts of "What do I want to have to eat after Marcilla leaves?". I knew it was hopeless at that point for me to try to resist it, so I gave in. I violated my "no pizza or tacos until my birthday" rule after eight days. Weight in today: 216.something. I saw it go up to 216 and then i got off pissed at myself.

So now comes a choice. One that I don't know which side I'll pick, if I'm being honest. One part of me says that I should say "Fuck it", eat what I want, keep exercising and screw the weight. Another part of me says I need to bite down and be good for nine more weeks, then just maintain.

The other approach that I'd like to take is to think more long term than day to day. I know a few facts about last year, mainly that I gained 20 pounds. Spread out evenly over the year, that equates to one pound gained about every three weeks. And I was eating like shit, not working out. Part of me things that if I took it a month at a time I'd be a lot better and less stressed about the whole thing. We'll see I guess.

The death of christmas 2005

2006-01-08T09:43:00.000-08:00

It's always quite depressing putting away the christmas stuff. This year is a bit different since it's the first time in awhile that I've been around to put the decorations away. It's been nice that the tree collection service (fantastico, btw) didn't come until yesterday, since getting home and looking at the tree was something calming and relaxing. I'd almost like to keep it there all year, but it'd probably get ugly and end up looking like the stump outside that is last year's christmas tree.

So today is when marcilla and I will put things away, and close another christmas season. It'll be nice to get the house back to normal, but it also starts the lull period that always comes after christmas with no holidays in the near future. I guess I'll deal with it though and feel better once it's done.

Don't you hate it when you type a bunch of shit and then realize that most of it is bunk so you end up deleting it? I do.

Yet another boring as fuck weight loss post

2006-01-05T14:37:00.000-08:00

So I've been good for a total of three fucking days. Eating well, going to the gym...and I hate it. I really just want to eat myself to death and die in five years...at least I'll be happy. I had two cups of cereal for lunch...why? One I was hungry for, the other, because I wanted to eat more than I should. I'm so fucked up. I say fuck too much.

I've been reading a lot on health and fitness sites on the "easy ways to lose weight". The latest ideas...

"Eat Three meals a day"...ok, done.
"Eat Protein at every meal"...milk has protein, so check
"Eat 'no white at night'"...No bread? Rice? Potatoes? Fuck this one.
"Exercise portion control"...Haha. I'll *never* be able to do this. Stuff your face until there's no more is my mantra. The only thing I've found that helps me is related to this is to cook less. If I cook 30 meatballs, I'll eat 30 meatballs. If I cook 4, I'll eat 4. Simple math.

Oh, and the stat that I love...you have to cut out (through not eating or exercising) 500 calories a day to lose one pound per week (or reduce your weight gain). I guess avoiding the beer will easily get me past this.

*** - Math problem break - ***

Assume that a pound of fat contains 3500 calories, which will form when there is excess calories in the body's system. Bill gained 20 pounds in the past year. His diet was mostly normal, but every week he would consume 5280 excess calories in alcohol and 2000 calories in food. If Bill cuts this out and does nothing more, how much weight will he gain or lose in 2006?

A: 85 lbs. lost. Yeah, my numbers must be messed up. And I'd look nasty as a hairy 130 lb skinny beast.

Alternate numbers:

Assume that a pound of fat contains 3500 calories, which will form when there is excess calories in the body's system. Bill gained 20 pounds in the past year. How many excess calories was he consuming per week?

A: 1346 - Again, my numbers must be off, since this equates to 200 calories a day, which then says that if I had tacos every day and gave one to the dog, I wouldn't have gained a pound.

I think I've had enough math for now.

*** - End of Math Problems - ***

The other interesting thing that I notice while doing research is how much all of this weight stuff is geared towards women, which makes the most sense. I just got off of a page where Denise Austin (who I think is 50) asks, "Slim my 1) Hips, 2) Waist, 3) Thighs". Last time I checked, my thighs were in order, Denise, but thanks anyway.

The reality of the whole thing is that I'm having a hard time identifying my food habits. So much of what I read asks "Are you an emotional eater?", which doesn't fit me at all. I don't eat because I'm sad, happy, or just took a nice shit. I eat because I like to, I like to feel full. There's nothing that I can find that says, "If you don't understand why you eat what you do, maybe here's a fucked up reason...". My only thought on this is that I'm exercising some sort of primitive switch that says, "Eat until you die". Other than that, I'm clueless.

In the face of all of this, I'm beginning to like going to the gym again. I like feeling sore and challenging myself while I'm working out to keep going. It's helped that I can go home and have a latte and read, so that need is taken away. Still, there are days like today when I have to stay late (and put up with fucking awful traffic that my tax dollars are fixing) that I really have trouble going not going to starbucks. Oh, and I think I'll break 215 by the time I weigh myself on saturday. Yay.

Personally, I really want to be able to say, "Go to the gym every day but sunday, drink nothing sunday night through friday night, and you can have whatever you want on saturday". I think this would work for me, but two problems: one, I don't know if I did this if I would lose weight. Two, there's marcilla to consider. If I was still a bachelor, sure, no problem, but I don't think that two diets in the same household will work. Especially since in order for her to lose weight, she has to do a good job of eating right, whereas I tend to work to death in the gym and eat what you want. I really want her to succeed in what she wants, so I don't want to be any distraction to her by eating what I want and what I think is best. This probably warrents a discussion between us later today.

Anyway, I've written enough for today.

Losing weight

2006-01-04T12:48:00.000-08:00

Losing weight sucks.

I'm fat. I know it, as some of my clothes don't fit anymore. In the past year I've gained about 20 pounds, though I can't say that I'm all that surprised. I've eaten enough tacos to call the house Mexico, enough pizza that I should own my own Papa Johns, and drunk enough beer to kill a herd of elephants. They aren't really that good of a combination for maintaining weight. In addition, I stopped going to the gym, mainly because going to b&n, getting a triple grande vanilla nonfat double cup latte and reading is so much better and relaxing than going to the gym and sweating for an hour. Combining both of those = 20 lbs of weight.

So now I do what so many other americans do this time of year, and that's go on a diet. My diet isn't really that hard though - most would term it "normal eating". Basically - no pizza, no tacos, and reduce the alcohol until my birthday. I would eliminate the alcohol, but there are situations where I do want to drink. The scared part of me wonders if I could eliminate alcohol, but that's another topic.

Will I succeed? My guess - feeling the way I feel now - is no. We'll check back in 10 weeks to see how things went (starting weight on 1/3 - 215.6). But like tonight - final college football game of the season - what do I want? Beer and pizza, of course! To me, the eating thing will be harding to keep than the exercising thing. There wasn't much of a reason that I needed to go to b&n every day during lunch other than it's what I wanted. I spent more on gas and a latte getting there.

*** - Break for math problem - ***

The distance from Microsoft to B&N in downtown Bellevue is 12 miles round trip. Bill's car gets on average 24 miles per gallon (considering both highway and normal driving). A gallon of gas costs $2.50 (average). When at B&N, Bill will buy a latte for $4.15. Bill will perform this task every working day of the year, minus his vacation, so 49 weeks.

The distance from Microsoft to Pro Sports Club is 3.2 miles round trip. Bill's car gets 20 miles per gallon in the city. Bill will go to the gym every day he works - 49 weeks.

Q: How much does Bill save by going to the gym over a course of a year?
A: $1225

*** - End of math problem - ***

Personally, I think that having one gorging night a week, eating well every other day, no alcohol except on gorging night, going to gym - all of these add up to losing weight - and I think it's easier for some reason and something I could keep doing for weeks at a time. Sort of a weekly goal that says, "If you work out every day, eat right, you can have a reward saturday night". I don't think I can not eat tacos or pizza for 10 weeks. Having one night where you can eat whatever you want sets a goal and says that "It's ok for you to eat this food, just don't do it every night". It's scary to think that being healthy, looking good, and living a long life isn't motivation for me to eat well.

At any rate, I signed up to deprive myself for 10 weeks, so currently that's the goal. 70 days...I'm on day 2 and I want to quit.

The main overall goal I think for the year is to not gain a pound, which shouldn't be too hard. It'd be an improvement over last year.

2006-01-04T12:43:00.000-08:00

So three months without an update, huh? Not that anyone really cares or reads this.

I keep pondering why I have this blog, as it used to be some sort of a way to entertain people or get my thoughts out on something. Part of me wonders if I knew that no one would read it, would I write more? Perhaps. There is a bit of me that hides away too many thoughts and feelings - but I also don't want this to become the place where I write things that I don't say to Marcilla's face.

I dunno. Maybe it will live...or die. Stay tuned...or not.

Eeesh...

2005-10-13T10:18:00.000-07:00

Lookie here: fun link

And the weird thing is that the parents are 40 and 39. They had their first at age 21. That's 16 kids in 18 years (14 births, since there are two sets of twins). Which from what I can tell means that she has been pregnant 65% of her days since age 21. The story got me curious as to how fertile they are compared to average americans, since most people stop having kids (i.e. they discovered the "snip snip" procedure) after 4 or so. How many kids could a couple have if they kept pumping them out?

Guess the exercise craze is taking off everywhere...

2005-09-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

Check this out:

http://www.alaskazoo.org/maggienews.htm

Why the Emmys will never be the Oscars

2005-09-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

I finished watching the emmys this morning before I went to work simply because I knew I'd read about the winners online, so I'd thought that I'd rather watch it live. I was amazed at how much you can fast forward through.

At any rate, it seems that the ratings for the emmys is sliding, and the show's producers are contiually trying to come up with ways to get the audience to care. Hence, last night's american idol-like contest, which because it was taped delayed on the west coast, I didn't get to vote for. Not that I would have.

But this got me thinking that the oscars are continually among the top ten (usually second, losing only to the super bowl) in the yearly neilsen (sp?) ratings. But the emmys never approach that at all. Why? At first glance, it seems like there's no logical reason. After all, both are long winded awards shows that have celebrity presenters delivering bad jokes, long and boring acceptance speeches, and a (to me) buttload of coverage on everyone's outfits.

So why do the emmys fail? Here are my thoughts at to why the emmys fail, the oscars succeed, and no matter what emmy producers do, it will never be any different.

1) The same shows/actors are nominated year after year

With the oscars, a movie gets once chance to win an award. If it happens to be up against another good movie, it may not win very many awards ('94 Forrest Gump vs Pulp Fiction is a good example). Coversely, a mediocre movie can win awards if it is in a year of little competition (even though I love the movie, '95 Braveheart is said to have gotten lucky as Best Picture).

The emmys are different in that any show that had new episodes can be nomited. Most shows that would be nominated last for more than one season. So you have a show like Everybody Loves Raymond being nominated most of the years, with multiple emmy wins for its cast members. How many times did Dennis Franz win for NYPD Blue?

Oscars are refreshing in that new faces are nominated every year for different roles. Being a two time nominee for the oscars is a great achievement, the same cannot be said for an emmy.

2) Acting/Writing/Directing/Overal Quality is based on *one* show, and *not* the quality of the entire season. Wonder why West Wing always won year after year? Because they'd crank out one awesome show a season, and the rest would be mediocre. Compare it to a show which concentrates on the overall season story (pretty much any HBO drama), and you can see why these shows never win. But the reality is that you cannot fix this at all, simply because it is unrealistic to expect every emmy voter to watch 16 hours of tv *per show*. The one show for voting used to be a good idea, since shows previous to mid-90s were very episodic, meaning that there wasn't much of an overall story arc during a season. So watching one show was a good indication of how the other shows were.

3) You haven't seen the TV movies

Once the emmy nominees are announced, those movies that are up for awards usually cannot be seen. Most TV movies air once, and if they air multiple times (such as on HBO), it's usually within a short time span. Whereas for the Oscars, most of the movies that get nominated are still in theaters, so it is possible for someone to go and see them. There are six awards given to TV movies, roughly a third of all awards. If I haven't seen any of these, the show becomes a boring snoozefest and I change the channel (or fast forward if I have Tivo).

4) You haven't heard of the directors/writers

This can sometimes be said of Movies, but it holds water more and more for tv shows/movies. Of the nominees last night, who did you know of? With the exception of Quentin Tarentino, I had not heard of any. Again, its hard to root for a winner when you don't know them. So you end up rooting for your favorite show, which becomes boring by the end of the night (especially if it doesn't win).

There are a few more things I could dive into, but I really feel that I've given this topic as much space as it deserves.

Maybe it's not so bad...

2005-09-07T14:48:00.000-07:00

Today one of my coworkers brought in their three month old kid to show to everyone (and to get the kid to do their work). Now that I'm married (yes, it had been too long since I've posted), the next evolution of my life comes when kids start rolling out of the vaginal canal. I am still admitedly very scared about the whole thing, but after seeing a little cute baby today, I'm a bit more softened up. Yes, there will be bad times, but just seeing a small creature grow up and you being responsible for it seems like it would be so heartwarming and rewarding. I guess that is what every person convinces themselves of before they try to start having kids.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT WANT TO PURPOSELY TRY TO HAVE A KID AT THE MOMENT. IF MY WIFE WAS TO BECOME ACCIDENTALLY PREGNANT, I WOULD BE OK WITH IT. THAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS POST.

Um, I've been busy...

2005-09-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

Eesh...a month and a half? That's a pretty long time between posts. If I had any faithful viewership I'm sure they've all packed up and are gone by now.

Simply Because I can't say no

2005-07-15T12:55:00.000-07:00

Ms. Silly put this on her blog, so I thought I'd respond:

10 years ago: I was 15. In the middle of summer vacation. Starting first year of high school, which means that it was my last year playing football (but first at the high school level). At this point during the summer I would have been involved in the nifty summer conditioning program, scared shitless that it would be a precusor to my death when I went up and tried to go against guys who were twice my size (or more).

5 years ago: I was 20. I was in between my sophomore and junior years of college, spending the time living at home, but working at a company called Flexware Integration, doing dorky projects. But they paid me money, so I didn't really care all that much. I was scared at the time of moving into my own apartment for the first time, but in the end I found out how much I loved the privacy compared to the fun dorms.

1 year ago: I was 24. Life doesn't seem to have changed all that much since then, but now that I look back on it I see that I bought a house and got engaged (soon to be married). At the time I was thinking about moving forward with my life, i.e. getting married, and getting a house to share was a result of that motivation.

Last Week: What the hell did I do last Friday? Oh yeah, I had yet another trip to see father tim, this time to fill out our catholic paperwork which eearily seemed like its purpose was for legal annulment of a marraige. Then we came home, ate, and, well, did something that we hadn't done for a long long time. Yay.

Yesterday: Had yet another softball team not show up. But hey, that means our team is on a three game winning streak. So we ended up playing a pick up game on a soccer field with three bases with three people per team. It was interesting in that once you sprinted home to score, it usually meant that you were up to bat next.

Today: Pissed as hell at the weather, being that we have an office party outside, and currently it's raining. And i'm wearing shorts and sandals, which tells God, "Please make it rain". But hey, it's friday, which means the weekend is near, and I don't have to work after today.

Tomorrow: Wake up, have sex, barnes & noble, buy wedding gifts, nap at home, mariners game, sleep. Yes, I do have a crystal ball.

5 snacks I enjoy: goldfish, cheese & crackers, wheat thins, popcorn, ice cream

5 bands/singers that I know the lyrics to MOST of their songs: Eesh. The first question should have been: Name 5 bands/singers. This is going to make me sound gay, but probably Abba, Bee Gees, Beatles, Star Wars soundtrack, Linkin Park (ok, that one's not gay)

5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Pay off current house, Give immediate family $1M each, Take a triparoundtheworld, quit my job, invest the rest and live off of the interest (consider 1% return of 100,000,000 is 1,000,000...that's quite a bit of money a year for a shitty return).

5 locations i'd like to run away to: home, australia, canada (eh?), up north, alaska

5 bad habits I have: Nail biting, laziness, excessive eating/drinking, road rage, dirtyness

5 things i like doing: sex, watching tv, playing games, reading, making ms. silly happy

5 things i would never wear: Um, have you seen my wardrobe? anything pink, any shorts that end above my mid-thigh, wife beaters, anything that costs > $75, women's clothing

5 tv shows i like: amazing race, alias, buffy, er, stargate

5 movies i like: kill bill, star wars, lotr, north by northwest, die hard

5 famous people i'd like to meet: assuming alive or dead: ben franklin, bill gates, robert lee, al capone, jesse ventura

5 biggest joys at the moment: ms. silly, fridays, < 1 hour left in the workday, my job, that i'm almost done with this

5 favorite toys: ms. silly, hammock, computer, tv, legos

The Fucked Up Reality That Is My Life

2005-07-08T22:53:00.000-07:00

I was suddendly hit by how lucky I am to have the life that I do. Let me enumerate the ways:

1) I have met the woman of my dreams: Marcilla. It's less than 30 days until we officially tie the knot, but it seems like I've known you all of my life. Three years ago I never imagined that I would meet someone like you: someone that embodied everything that I was looking for in a woman while at the same time loving me back more than I could have dreamed of. You make me want to be a better person, and I strive to make every day of your existence a happy one.

2) My job. As much as I bitch and moan about it, I am very grateful for it. It allows me to express everything that I want, and at the same time be rewarded for all of the hard work that I put into it. I truly feel that I can accomplish as much as I can at any company as I can where I'm working right now.

3) Our house. Granted, now I feel like we stretched a little bit too far, but I absolutely love where I live. Especially considering that it is in the greater seattle area, where housing prices are so extreme it's very silly. Consider that our house is probably priced at half that of Marcilla's parent's house, but that we have a larger home and lot. It's so messed up. But being able to live where we do gives me a sense of accomplishment and pride, showing off what we've been able to afford (and I really mean that, because based on my salary alone we wouldn't be in this house). It's fun thinking about ways we can improve the house, redo things, and in general think about the future.

4) Marcilla. Yeah, she got #1 on this list, but for her worth she deserves two spots on this list. I never really had much of a motivation in my life before I met her...I was always thinking of the small things in life that didn't mean much. But with every passing moment I feel like my life has purpose, that I want to fulfill everything that i can just so she can have a better life because of me. I wish our wedding was tomorrow because I am so ready to call her my wife.

My Weighing Game

2005-07-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

The weekend was basically business as usual, with the mild exception that I stuck a knife in my hand as a fun halloween stunt. I forgot which holiday it was apparently. The whole thing turned out fine, minus the major owieness of getting numbed right where I cut myself up.

It was my first visit to any sort of medical establishment since I was in high school. I don't get sick a lot, and generally find them to be a waste of time. The whole process takes two hours, and by the end you've actually been with a doctor/nurse for around fifteen minutes. Not my idea of a good time.

At any rate, they ended up taking my blood pressure, which they commented on was a little high. Which really got me thinking that I should start to work out again, as I had probably gained weight and shouldn't spend my lunch hour consuming a $4 triple-grande-nonfat-doublecup-vanilla-latte. So I went and worked out today, it was generally working out and all, and then I weighed myself. And I stared down in between my toes and saw that I had eclisped my panic weight of 200 by .2 lbs.

Growing up I had gained a lot of weight after quitting football my sophomore year, and the same pattern developed this time around. What is it? Funny enough, when you're working out as hard as I did with football and at the gym here, you can basically eat and drink whatever you want and not gain a pound. The problem? Stop working out, and your eating habits will cause you to gain weight.

In high school I ballooned from 173 (best shape I was ever in) to 235. When I moved here I was at 183 or so, and when I moved in with Marcilla (when I stopped working out regularly), I was at around 190. Ten pounds isn't that much, I say, but then I realize that it's been eight months, and 10 lbs every year for the rest of my life means that I'm on some Richard Simmons show with everyone pitying me that I've managed somehow to get to 600 lbs and still live (that's me at 65).

So begins the grand dilemma. I *like* eating, I *like* drinking, and so why the hell am I denying myself something I like? So I don't plop dead or something, even though I will be plopping at some point in my meager life. And the other thing is that I don't like working out anymore. It used to be a nice way to get away from work and clear my head, but I opened pandora's box and found out I could just as easily accomplish the mellowing if I went to b&n, which is infinitely more fun.

But I'm digressing. I guess all along I've told myself that when kids come, the food and beverage menu is simplified to a healthier variety, as any children that are given life through my loins will not be fat kids or teenagers. Also, I think being able to do what I want is one of the many things that I hold onto that make me feel like I'm younger and back in college. In the end I guess it'll be some sort of compromise, but I know myself well enough to know that I don't care all that much.

And I don't have a point in all of this nonsense. Just something to ramble on about.

Pizza, Dreams, and Stinky Farts

2005-06-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

So Marcilla's in Boise, which meant that last night I was on my own again. Can't really argue since I got to eat pizza and watch violent movies. But then the going to bed part always gets me. First, I was farting so bad that *I* even thought my farts stank. Second, I had this weird dream of Marcilla and I going to some engaged encouter type retreat, and it was the most vivid dream I've had in a long time. We were arriving in separate cars because we were going there straight from work. Everyone else had arrived when I got there, except for Marcilla. She then called and told me that she quit her job and was stuck in traffic. Then the activities started, which consisted of each couple going around and finding a car next to the building. However, there were many locations one could look around the building. Of course, Marcilla hadn't arrived, so I had to wait on her, and when she got there, she was wearing an abnormal amount of makeup. We were the only one without a car and had a hard time finding one, so we split up. Apparently I was searching in the wrong place, because one of the ladies running the show started chasing me with a bloodied knife, giggling and stuff. Finally I evaded her long enough that she told me I might try looking in the tunnels. What tunnels, I had no idea. So I found a sewer, opened it up, and grabbed a hold of a ladder leading me down in the "tunnels". On the way down, there were tv monitors on either side of me. The first set was an old black and white movie, that was focused in on a head of a mad scientist, who kept screaming, "Kilosaur, go!" [kilo as in kilogram, saur as in dinosaur]. What a kilosaur is, I have no idea. [kilo = thousand, saur = soil, what it means combined is a mystery]. And then the second set of monitors was having an oscar type awards show for movies that I hadn't heard of. And then I woke up. And I missed Marcilla. Then I farted.

Success?

2005-05-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

Looks like I finally got the tivo to connect to its service. I have no idea why it had problems connecting, other than modem service is generally unreliable. While on the tivo web site looking for answers (yes, I broke down and had to go read the help manual), I found out you could connect it through a high speed network, which may be something to look into if the problem persists. I'm a bit wary about going to bed, 'cause I'm nervous the "downloading" prompt will change into a "haha, i just fucked you over...AGAIN" prompt. It's been downloading for awhile, but being that it hasn't been able to connect in over two weeks, that's probably why.

As much as I want to, I'm beginning to doubt that I'll ever be able to adjust to marcilla's bedtime and waking up. It'd be nice to be able to sync with her, but as it stands, I'm really not tired, and I don't want to lay in bed trying in my head to convince myself that yes, I am sleepy. Sucky thing is that I've taken my contacts out, so writing this is a bit blurry and is limiting what it is that I'm going to do trying to make myself sleepy enough to want to go crawl in bed again. I dunno, this typing is starting to make me feel sleepy...zzzzzzz

Bill's Movie Rating System

2005-05-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

Went and saw Star Wars again today. Not quite as good as the first time. It may have been that the awe of the whole thing had taken its course, or the fact that two adult males decided to bring along their 4-5 year old sons, who couldn't sit still, much less follow what was going on. On top of that, the movie is rated PG-13. I know its star wars, but I wouldn't want my kid seeing anakin all burned and shit. Dumb assholes. Even dumber movie rating system. From my vast experience from attending movies, I've found that parents will take young kids to any non-R rated movie. And if the R rated movie contains just violence, shit, they'll take their five year olds to that too (Dad to son: "Shut up, kid. You wanna know why Neo died? Shit, I don't even know myself). Anyway, this has led me to come up with my own movie rating system to better help adults everywhere:

K - Kids movie. Good to take your kids to, but you'll be bored out of your mind. The good news is that you can rest easy knowning that your kid isn't the craziest one in the theatre (and god help you if they are)

E - Everyone movie. It doesn't matter how violent, or how much language there is, cause parents don't care about that stuff anyway. This is distinguished from the former category in that adults actually have a chance to enjoy the movie and won't be insanely bored by it.

B - Boobie movie. Not quite as extreme as the next category, but there is the showing of the mammary glands. You wouldn't want your kids to see boobies...either they'll grow up worrying about the size of the pair they have, or they'll be so deprived by the time they hit puberty that it will be all they'll think about for the rest of their life. Note that this also helps the males out there (and maybe lesbian females, but i don't know they do this), as to speed up the process of finding a good movie to jerk off to on the pay movie stations, without having to make the mistake of seeing the word "nudity" applied to the movie "Six Degrees of Separation" and think they'll be seeing a lot of T (if you haven't seen the movie, there's plenty of A, but it's attached to people without Ts).

P - Porn. Lots of sex, sex, sex. If you didn't want to watch people getting it on, you shouldn't come and see this movie.

Dear Marcilla

2005-05-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

Let 80s music ensprire me to write you something.

Land Down Under

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I think back to where I was two years ago and I'm constantly amazed at the reality of life, that you never know where you're going to be tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year. I was at a point where I thought I was never going to find anyone that was marrying material...that I was going to live in downtown bellevue as a bachelor that had too many dvds and spent too much time at barnes and noble.

Jesse's Girl

Part of me loves the fact that no one has realized how awesome you are. Always throughout my life I've been wanting my best friend's girlfriend (as sick as that sounds). But with you I know that I am Jessie, and you are the girl that I love, and that so many other guys are jealous of me because I have the most awesome person ever, something that they think only exists in their imagination. They'll end up settling for less because they think that Jessie's girl doesn't exist. You can't even imagine how I feel knowing that you are the perfect person for me, that you completly *get* me, and how you know me better than anyone has even known me.

Africa

You have no idea where we're going for our honeymoon. I love it :-). But know that I want to experience everything there is in the world with you. There are places that you haven't been yet (as suprising as that sounds) that I want to go with you on. And it will take me a lot to drag me away from you, I would doubt that there exists a single force on this earth that will pull me away from you. I want to know what your dreams are, the things that you think you'll never get to do, but that given a nice genie you'd ask for them.. I love making you smile, turning that frown upside down (feel free to slap me after you read that), and being able to give you something that you thought you'd never be able to realize would make me a very happy man indeed. Hurry boy, she's waiting for you.

Anyway, it's time for me to go to bed. I just want to you know that I'll always love you, and that I exist to make you smile everyday.

Love,
Bill

Why the hell don't search engines work?

2005-05-25T12:22:00.000-07:00

So this summer I want to buy a bike. A used one, as I'm a cheap ass motherfucker and don't need a tricked out bike. Something with two wheels, gears, and doesn't break down.

Searching on search.msn.com, with the search "used bicycle", my first hit was the following:

"Steve's Bicycle Touring Page - Happiness is a loaded touring bicycle and a compatible traveling companion"

I usually give search.msn.com the first shot, so I went over to google to see if it was any better:

"The bicycle brothers who changed history
On December 17th, 1903, at Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, Orville Wright completed the world's first successful powered, heavier-than-air flight. "

WTF?

Why I am a Road Rage Driver

2005-05-25T12:19:00.000-07:00

More reasons why I get road rage:

1) When people who are driving pick up trucks think that they can put *anything* in the back, and it will magically stay there without the need to be tied down.

2) When people are ten feet behind the car ahead of them in the right lane driving down the highway, doing the same speed as the car ahead of them, and move into the left lane and don't speed up

3) Having to be next to a large loud moving vehicle. I was next to a bus the other day and could *feel* the heat of the engine coming into my car.

My weekends are no more

2005-05-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was mother's day, or "I pushed you out of my vaginal tract and therefore you must worship me on this day". To me, it falls into the same category of "guilt ridden holidays that force you to spend money at hallmark and other places", which include, but isn't limited to, valentine's day and father's day. Basically, I feel that if the only day you show any kind of love to [insert person the day is for], then you're in trouble. And the ultimate purpose of them still eludes me.

Plus, where's a day of pampering just for me? There's nothing really going on in late september, how about changing the last sunday in september to be Bill's day? I'm sure hallmark would make a fortune of people buying cards just to show me how much they care about me.

Changing gears, now starts the two weeks that I've been dreading for quite awhile. I love my weekends, I love them only a little less than Ms. Silly. And when I have to give any part of them up for something that I deem to be a waste of my time, it really ticks me off. Example: this coming weekend, Ms. Silly and I are going to "Engaged Encounter", a retreat where they give us all the answers that other people just don't know which will enable us to have a successful marraige. And if we didn't go? Then we would be divorced, for sure, because every marraige fails unless they go to this engaged encounter.

Part of me wants to be the biggest asshole when I'm there, possibly having conversations such as:

Engaged Encounter Worker: Does anyone think this is a waste of time?

[I raise my hand]

Engaged Encounter Worker: Yes, Dust Ruffle, why do you think this is a waste of time?

Me: Because nothing can gurantee a successful marraige, and that the key to one is communication and comprimise. I doubt you have much more to say than that.

Engaged Encounter Worker: Our statistics show that those who come here are more likely to succeed in their marriage.

Me: Most likely because the people that are willing to come here and go through with this are the ones that will be more dedicated to a marriage. And how do you track that statistic? Am I going to get a call every year to ask me if I'm still married? How long have you been tracking statistics? Last time I checked most marriages last more than 10 years, and you haven't been around that long.

But I doubt I will. I'll just nod my head, say what they want me to say, and seeth with hatred inside. Maybe I'll become Darth Bill sometime this weekend. At least I'd get a lightsaber that I could easily slice a bagel with.

I guess my beef with the whole thing boils down to two things:

1) Going to something like this is admitting that "without this, we would be getting divorced sometime in our marriage". Wow, way to be optimistic about the future.

2) There are X number of things that, if you do them, you will have no problems in your marriage that you can't resolve. I can't even begin to describe how much I loathe people and/or things that claim to have all of the answers, as no one does, or else everyone would know about it. Another good example are get rich quick schemes that you see on tv: if it really did work, wouldn't everyone be doing it?

I'm also worried that not being a catholic is going to single me out among the 60 or so people that are there. I know that there is a Mass on sunday, which I always feel uncomfortable going to. I hate not belonging, as I (and most people would do this) don't associate with people that they don't have a lot in common with. If they ask me to pray about something, I'm probably going to pray that I can go home.

Last thing that I can't stand that I know about ahead of time: The fucking dorm rooms. It seems like such a big trip back to the 1950s that we must sleep not only in separate beds, but in seperate rooms, in order to make sure that we're not having sex. Because having sex = sin, and having sex at a catholic get together = devil worship. It just seems to be such a nieve thinking on someone's part, thinking that all of the couples going to this place have never spent any time alone together. Last time I checked I'm not in high school living at my parent's house, but, hey, I guess the Catholic church is still living in the 14th century, minus all the Jew hating.

But ultimately I will go and I will jump through hoop #571 in the quest to marry the woman that I love.

Hear a pin drop...

2005-04-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

So Ms. Silly spent last night and will spend most of today in the Portland area having a wedding fun fest with people that like to do that sort of thing. Me? I'm sitting on my ass in front of the couch munching on goldfish. Mmmm. They swim in my tummy.

Now, part of me thought that last night was going to be a "return to the bachelorhood" night, where I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. I even got some old by-myself-night staples, such as goldfish and some colby jack cheese. The thing was that I was lonely and missed someone laughing when I farted, being able to discuss life in general, and wanted hugs and kisses when I was cooking (but not during the stages where I need to actually do something).

And then I went to bed. Oh, how lonely that was. I even woke up from a really nasty dream at around 3 am and looked over and didn't see what normally makes me calm and realize that my dream was just a dream and it couldn't ever come true. It felt as if some part of me was missing...like my arm had been chopped off but I was still behaving as if it was still there. Then I woke up this morning and was really really dismayed that I didn't have someone I could curl up to and cuddle with knowing that it was saturday morning (which is what I consider to be the best four hours of the week).

It's made me realize that there is this other person that I depend on without realizing it, someone who I *need* in my life, someone who makes me a better person.

I love you, Ms. Silly.

Daylight Take an Hour Out of My Weekend Savings Time

2005-04-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

This year's daylight savings time has come and gone. But now there's talk about extending daylights savings time to start in march and go through november. What I love about the CNN article that I read was a quote from Representative Ed Markey:

"The more daylight we have, the less electricity we use".

I couldn't believe he was quoted as saying this, but apparently he was. The number of hours of daylight in a given day do not change because of daylights savings time.

What he meant was that if we adjust the daylight to when most people are up, they won't be using lights to see, and will thus use electricity. It didn't make sense in my mind until I wrote things down (I still thought it was a pile of hot squishy doggy doo before I had fun with math here):

This information was taken from some site on the web for sunrises and sunsets for seattle, WA:

current none new system
Jan 1 7:58, 4:28
Feb 1 7:36, 5:10 8:36, 6:10
Mar 1 6:50, 5:54 7:50, 6:54
Apr 1 5:48, 6:39 5:48, 6:39 6:48, 7:39
May 1 5:52, 8:22 4:52, 7:22 5:52, 8:22
Jun 1 5:16, 8:59 4:16, 7:59 5:16, 8:59
Jul 1 5:16, 9:11 4:16, 8:11 5:16, 9:11
Aug 1 5:47, 8:44 4:47, 7:44 5:47, 8:44
Sep 1 6:28, 7:50 5:28, 6:50 6:28, 7:50
Oct 1 7:08, 6:49 6:08, 5:49 7:08, 6:49
Nov 1 6:54, 4:52 7:54, 5:52
Dec 1 7:37, 4:20

Say that most people work 9-5, so they would wake up at say 7:30, leave for work at 8:30, arrive home at 5:30 pm, and go to bed at 11 pm. And let's create a bullshit energy unit called light-minutes. A person only needs 1 light, and they keep it on every minute that the sun isn't up, unless they are asleep. So if a person experiences 30 minutes of time where they sun isn't up, they consume 30 light-minutes of energy. Also note that they only changes we need to look at are in march and novemeber, as the other months are staying the same.

Current system:

In march, a person will wake up at 7:30 am. Since the sun is already up, they spend no energy. When they get home at 5:30, the sun is still up. From 5:54 to 11 they use their one light, for a total of 306 light-minutes.

In november, a person will wake up at 7:30 am. Since the sun is already up, they spend no energy. When they get home at 5:30, the sun is not up. From 5:30 to 11 they use their one light, for a total of 330 light minutes.

Total use (per day): 636 light-minutes

(extra credit, to see if we should just permantly switch the time)

In february, a person will wake up at 7:30 am. The sun rises in six minutes, so they use 6 light minutes. When they get home at 5:30, the sun is not up. From 5:30 to 11 they use their one light, for a total of 330 light minutes.

New system:

In march, a person will wake up at 7:30 am. The sun has not come up yet. From 7:30 to 7:50 they use their one light, using 20 light-minutes. When they get home at 5:30, the sun is still up. From 6:54 to 11 pm they use their one light, for a total of 246 light-minutes. Total for the day: 266 light-minutes

In november, a person will wake up at 7:30 am. The sun has not come up yet. From 7:30 to 7:54 they use their one light, using 24 light-minutes. When they get home at 5:30, the sun is still up. From 5:52 to 11 pm they use their one light, for a total of 308 light-minutes. Total for the day: 332 light-minutes

Total use (per day): 598 light-minutes

(extra credit)

In february, a person will wake up at 7:30 am. The sun has not come up yet, so they use 60 light minutes before they leave. When they come home, the sun is still up. From 6:10 to 11 they use their one light for 290 light minutes. Total = 350 light minutes.

End Result: Daylights savings time is shitty in the way it messes with your day (I lost a whole fucking hour of my weekend last week), but it makes sense. And we shouldn't change in february. See! Math can be fun!

Road Rage

2005-04-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

I get angry when I drive. Ms. Silly has been in the car with me when I start to curse at people because they piss me off. Because I've become a prisoner at work, I decided to list all of the things that will make me angry when I drive:

1. People who get over in the lane they need to be in at the last minute
2. People who merge by waiting until they have to merge
3. People who think they have the right of way when they are merging into your lane
4. People who don't signal when they are turning
5. People who wait until they're turning their steering wheel to turn before they signal (at this point I think I know if you're going to turn or not, so its pretty useless)
6. People who drive six feet behind me when I'm going 60 mph...seriously, is it that important that you stay too close?
7. People who must stay six inches behind you when you're in crawling traffic. One a two-lane road where there's no possibility of anyone coming in, do you really to be that close?
8. People who accelerate to a red light.
9. People who brake at the last minute. So it seems when I'm looking in my rear view mirror that they're going right up the ass of my car, but they slam on the brakes and stop in time.
10. People who drive below the speed limit.
11. People who stop to let other drivers into the flow of traffic they are in (i don't mean those who stop to let someone turn across their lane)
12. People who talk on cell phones while driving
13. Any semi, or dump truck. They accelerate really slow, bellow out a lot of smoke (when I look at air pollution due to too much traffic, that's what I look at), and you can't see by them.
14. People who, waiting to turn into my lane, think that if a car in front of me is turning, that they have enough time to pull out, regardless of how fast I'm going or how close I am to them
15. People who can't judge if they have enough room to turn into my lane and get up to speed before I reach them

I guess that's about it.

Yay sick days

2005-04-01T11:56:00.000-08:00

So I'm at home playing hookie. Why? Well, I didn't feel much like going into work and performing any kind of work, so why waste company resources pretending that I'm doing something when I'm not? Anyway, I never get sick enough to have a sick day, and I get ten of them every year, so the occasional day off isn't going to hurt anyone. As a result, I've planned out the rest of my vacation for the year, so now I know I'm not going to be taking another day off until memorial day. Which is really how it should be.

In other news, I live a very boring life. Last night was probably me at my worst, as nothing really sounded fun, and I burdened Ms. "Sexy" Silly with my woes. I think I need to go back to having a constructive hobby or something that I can dink around with for a few hours that doesn't involve me playing games and such.

Ms. "Super Sexy" Silly remarked last night that she wanted to be healthier. And I do too, for that matter. Starting Monday I'm really going to go to the gym and not to starbucks. Which means this weekend I must purchase a radio of some kind so I can listen to the feeds from the TVs. I do want to work out, I do want to eat healthier. Of course, I'm having tacos and beer tonight, so you can tell that I'm so motivated by this that I'm starting right away.

The weather sucks ass. Tuesday was the worst of it, I've never had such an exhausting commute as I did then. I've never seen weather like it. And of course being seattle it naturally rains enough so that I can't ever mow the lawn ever again. At least it matches the neighbor's lawn which hasn't been cut in ages.

This has been a really random post. I think it's a sign that I'm headed towards the insane asylum.

What goes around comes around...

2005-03-24T15:16:00.000-08:00

I was at b&n today reading (I need to get it in my mind that the gym is just as much fun as b&n, but that's another issue) and pretty much minding my own business. Then this guy walked up to me and asked if i could spare a dollar for the bus. Now, he didn't seem quite right in the head, and I thought that it was a remote chance that he was actually going to use the dollar on a bus ride. I considered saying no, but realized that i'd feel like an ass for saying no to someone that came up with a potential legit excuse for needing money, and it was a fucking *dollar*...I had just spent four dollars on my starbucks. In the end, I ended up giving him one.

So fast foward fifteen minutes, I'm at QFC buying goodies for dinner, including this decently healthy chicken sausage. I decided to do the self checkout, as its like playing a video game, and I pretend in my mind that everyone's staring at me and in awe of how efficent I am and how quickly I can push the buttons. I go to grab my receipt and notice that in the cash return bin is...a dollar bill.

So I'm even for the day (minus the starbucks and qfc thing). Now the thing that's getting at me is if the guy actually used my dollar to ride the bus, cause if he did, then I did a good deed and either lucked into a reward or god took time out of saving humanity's ass to be sure that i got my dollar back.

My kind of dating service

2005-03-22T13:46:00.000-08:00

So Ms. Silly and I met on match.com, probably the most well known and used site out there. Most who have not used them think there are a bunch of weirdos out there, and there are some, but most that are there are normal people.

I came across a banner ad for an online dating service...let's just say that I would be surprised if one female had signed up for this site:

Ms. Silly is Silly-Terrific!

2005-03-16T10:30:00.000-08:00

My birthday was yesterday. Ms. Silly made it one of the best ones that I've ever had. I can't believe I get to marry this fabulous hot woman and spend many more birthdays with her. I think that when I looked at her yesterday working so hard to get 1/2 cup of key lime juice using a juicer with key limes, I realized for the umpteenth time how special she is and how I should play with her hair more.

Musings on how not to do a pre release of software

2005-03-16T10:05:00.000-08:00

There's a genre of games out there that has a really funny acronym to them - MMORPG, or "An Online Game That You Pay To Play" (AOGTYP2P). Essentially its a huge persistent world that you play with a bunch of other people. The reason you pay every month for it, as far as I can see, is that eventually the game developers will add new content, essentially a free addition to the game. What you're really paying for is their bandwith, new servers, maintenence, etc., which I can understand.

This past weekend, the makers of "The Matrix Online" had a stress test, so someone like me could download the game, play it (for free, since the game hasn't been released), and give them some help with their testing. Sounds fun, right?

Problem #1: The download of the client was way too big

Not that big of an issue really, as a game this size would require a big download. Most games these days come on multiple cds, and given that each cd hold 650 MB, downloading 2 GB worth of data isn't that unexpected (so 3 cds worth).

Problem #2: The download of a patch was way too big

With most of these games, when you connect to play, they validate that the version on your computer is the latest version. If not, it auto updates you so that everyone that is connected is playing the same version. After spending roughly four hours downloading the inital game, I had to spend another two hours download a 1 GB patch. You'd think they could update what I initially downloaded, but that must have been too much of a problem.

Problem #3: The lag made the game unplayable

The word "lag" refers to the time it takes for me to send information about what I'm doing to the server, for the server to process the request, and then for the server to get back to me. The reason for this complicated procedure revolves around players trying to cheat, which is standard in these types of games. Anything that I do (open a door, fight a bad guy, even move) is relayed to the server to be sure it's legit. Also, the server has to communicate to me everything that's happening around me (so other players moving would be one example). Essentially, there's a constant communication between my computer and the server.

This being a "stress" test, the goal is to get as many people on one server as possible, so they can see how much memory use, time for requests to be processed, etc. Problem is that when you get too many people on one server, the lag becomes so big that the server cannot handle the requests in a timely manner. At points I couldn't move because the frame rate was under 1 FPS (frame per second...movies are 24 FPS).

Problem #4: The game is repetitive and boring

The beginning of any game should be used to get a player into the world and having fun. This game (I was able to play it relatively lag free yesterday) world is boring and offers the same feel to it. I felt like every building was just a bunch of doors. Its hard to locate what you're going for. Combat is so confusing that I can't tell if I'm going to win or not. I feel that the game is the standard MMORPG in the Matrix universe (there's one in the star wars universe that I couldn't get into either...only world of warcraft has really broken out of the mold). And I don't like standard MMORPG.

Problem #5: I'm left with a bad impression

The game is going to be released in a week. I have no evidence or confidence that this game is going to be any different than the one I played. So I'm not going to spend my money on the game or play it at all.

There are three types of people involved in any game: those that will buy it regardless, those who are on the fence, those that will never buy it. The first and third you can't change (I won't buy any fighting games cause I suck at them), but the second is where you make you dollars. I either wait for a review of the game, or a demo to see if I should spend money on it. I've been burned way too many times buying shitty games that I didn't finish. I can't believe that anyone who was on the fence that played this game this weekend is going to buy the game. Now, it may be that the real product turns out fabulous, but I'm not going to be there. I'll spend my money playing more world of warcraft.

What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened?

2005-03-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

So at work I couldn't post at all on my blog, as my web browser was coming up and saying it couldn't connect. I kept clicking the "post" button, but it came up and said it couldn't find the page to post to. Turns out it was actually posting, but now i look like i have the world's worst case of amnesia as I have the same post eight times. And I don't feel like editing the damn thing just so it looks right. Why should I have to take time to do something that is someone else's fault?

Why O Why

2005-03-10T14:58:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd show my work ethic today by waking up with Ms. Silly and getting into work a little after six. Currently it's a quarter to ten and most people still aren't here. Anyway, it was worth it just from a traffic perspective. However, I ended up surfing the internet until 8, which is when I normally get here. So I haven't gotten all that much done, and I'm buttfucking tired. I'm about ready to head home and sleep for a few hours, but I probably won't. I don't know how Ms. Silly puts up with this, I should play with her hair more because she does.

Why O Why

2005-03-10T09:56:00.000-08:00

Why O Why

2005-03-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

Why 0 Why

2005-03-10T09:48:00.002-08:00

Why 0 Why

2005-03-10T09:48:00.001-08:00

Why 0 Why

2005-03-10T09:48:00.000-08:00

Why o Why

2005-03-10T09:41:00.002-08:00

Why o Why

2005-03-10T09:41:00.001-08:00

Why o Why

2005-03-10T09:41:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd be fancy this morning and show that I was really motivated to work by waking up with Ms. Silly and getting into work at 6:15. It's worth it from just a traffic standpoint. But I ended up surfing the internet until 8, and getting nothing done, so its as if I arrived at work when I normally do. And now i'm just wanting to drive home, get in bed, and sleep cause i'm about as tired as I get before I find some location to sleep in. How Ms. Silly does this day to day is beyond me, I should play with her hair more because she puts up with it.

Thoughts on an old life

2005-03-05T09:07:00.000-08:00

Sitting here waiting for Ms. Silly to get ready so we can go to our favorite consistent hangout, barnes and noble. Why more bookstores don't have comfy chairs and let you read to your hearts content is beyond me. I've become a "regular" there, but not as much as this old guy that I see just about every day that I'm there. He's your typical old guy, meaning he seems very nice, walks slowly, and has his pants three inches above his belly button. All of the employees seem to know his name (John), and always say hi when they walk by. Its nice to have lofty goals in life like havings kids, good marraige, get rich, etc, but maybe just being that old guy in the bookstore that everyone says hello to is all that you really need.

Yay

2005-03-04T15:08:00.000-08:00

So I got a promotion today. Didn't think one was coming, as typically they come during the september reviews and not during the middle of the year reviews. Most money changes are done in the fall, so I got a nifty pay raise...about $300/month as far as I can figure after taxes. Strange to think that in 30 months of work here I've gotten an 18% raise, and that's only base salary. I have awesome medical coverage (don't pay a dime), get bonuses and stock and stuff. I guess I'm not in the poorhouse :-)

2005-03-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

Part of me wonders whether or not anyone besides Ms. Silly is going to read this at all. Guess it doesn't really matter too much...I spend most of my time commuting to work talking to myself, and this is like that only with a keyboard and its more permanent and you have to spell. Sometimes I find that I have trouble thinking in my mind, as my body doesn't realize that my intent was to do it in the mind, and the body just starts to have my mouth move. Makes me look insane sometimes.

Anyway, the point of all of that is that I work as a programmer, specifically one that uses microsoft products. There's a big raging debate as to whether or not microsoft or linux is a better choice, and there are pros and cons to both sides. Personally, I'm a microsoft guy, mainly cause even though i'm technical enough to fix things, i really just want shit to work. One of the internships i had involved me building a firewall using linux. It was good and all, but a lot of my time was spent on message boards trying to solve stuff that shouldn't be that hard.

So recently a new web browser called firefox was released. I haven't played around with it myself, but many in the open source (linux) camp thought it was the death of internet explorer as a browser because it was so much more user friendly and secure. I read an article earlier this week that said IE's market share has dropped to 89%. And given that microsoft is frequently a target of hackers and such, IE is a very easy target so a lot of security holes are found in it. What the general public doesn't realize is that every software product has bugs, and every software product has security bugs. The goal is to find them before you release your software, and if you (or someone else, most likely) find them after you ship, get a fix out there as quickly as possible. Certainly I hate the regular security updates that i'm forced to put on my machine, but at least i know that the updates for the microsoft software that i use will fix the problems.

Turns out that firefox isn't entirely immune to security issues. If you've heard of phishing, you can skip this paragraph. One way to commit fraud on the internet is to create a web site that looks like a reputable site for a major company but really isn't. If you've ever gotten spam in your email saying "we need your personal bank account information", its most likely a phishing scam. The accurate website for your bank may be www.bigbankofboldbuckets.com, but a phising site for it may be www.bankbankboldbuckets.com which looks the same, has the same graphics, but it will take your user information (SS numbers are a big one) and sell them off.

One way to get a phising site is to use international characters, specifically cyrillic (russian), as some of the letters in that alphabet look the same as the roman alphabet, but from a computer's point of view, they're entirely different. The letter 'a' is a good example of one. Anyway, turns out in firefox, typing in a web address that contains some of these cyrillic characters looks the same as the roman ones, and there's really no way you can tell the difference. So www.wamu.com and www.wamu.com. One contains the cyrillic 'a'. Which one? Its actually the first, but you can't tell the difference.

What's the fix that firefox has? Instead of www.wamu.com, they make the site xn--wmu-4ve.com. Wow. There's a good fix, let's just scramble things up. But what I love is the following quote by the Mozilla foundation who distributes the browser:

"the change is temporary, but a long-term solution requires industry cooperation."

Meaning that: "No one entity controls the browser. So we have to sit on our asses and wait until we get together and decide on a solution".

My thoughts, as so eloquently stated by Han Solo: "We don't have time for a committee".

I like that there are other open source products that are becoming popular. Because it sheds this light of bugs and security bugs on the industry and not on one company who controls a large share of it.

2005-03-04T08:30:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that I'll want to change my title of the blog and everything about it in a year. I had a screenname for most of college that people thought was cool but everyone asked why I picked it. I had no honest idea, mainly because I had forgotten why I chose it in the first place. So hopefully the titles of everything won't be too hard for me to pick out again.

And yeah, I don't want to grow up. I kind of have naturally, but part of me is desperately clinging to things and doing things that make me feel younger, in control. I'm not that old by most people's standards, but the idea that I've lived twelve days short of a quarter century makes me feel old. Maybe its that I see the next 25 years as changing my life even more and me losing control of being selfish for myself.

God, I'm depressing to read. Happy times.